To the Mommy who thinks her kids deserve a better Mommy:

Dear Mommy who thinks her kids deserve a better Mommy,

I get you completely.

I have this thought at least once a week and on a bad week... six or seven times an hour.

You too? We should start a club.

Yet, if we started a club we would probably be picky about whose kids really do need a better mommy.

We would first weed out the moms who come in with the guilt that their kids didn't eat enough organic foods or have watched more than their 30 minutes of "Screen Time" for the day so their brain must be mush.

Yep, those moms get kicked out first.

Then we would politely ask the moms to leave that only had three at home crafts planned this week  instead of the fifteen crafts suggested by Pinterest. Or that their child hasn't met the milestones displayed on the Pinterest info-graph so she must be delaying them...

I'm sorry. This is not the club for you.  Please join the, "Pinterest is killing my mommy-joy" club two doors down.

No, I want a club with the hard core mommy guilt sufferers.

The ones who cry at night because they spent more time yelling at their children instead of loving on them that day.

The ones who fear their children will never understand grace because they aren't showing it enough to them or to themselves.

The ones who have actually yelled out loud, "I QUIT!" then hid in a bathroom for ten minutes because that is the only door in the house that locks.

The ones who talk their husband's ear off with, "Don't you worry about me alone with your children? They must be scared of me! See, they jump when I yell!"

The ones who read through every self-help book to still fail not because the answers aren't there... but because the sin inside is so strong and the Devil is relentless.

The ones who hate themselves because they get mad their child is "inconveniencing" them.

The ones who over-compensate in a desperate hope their kids will see some sliver of good in them and that you love them no matter what.

Have we gathered all those mommies?

Hi. My name is Jessica and I'm a bad mom.

But... I don't want to be and I know you don't want to be either.

Daily I seem to find myself in the struggle of my heart knows one thing but my flesh does another.
My impatience often wins over having to calmly explain for the eighth time in an hour why it is NOT a good idea to kick your brother in the privates.

But if we did find better mom's to take our children... would that really make everything better?

I mean, sure our lives would go to crap but maybe... the kids would be all right?

I mean they could get that mom that is always calm and lovingly points them back to Christ through every "teachable moment".

They could get that mom who spends more time playing educational games with them then watching TV with them or letting them play while you watch TV without them...

They might even get a mom that could actually nail all those Pinterest ideas from crafts to school, to just... life...

This could work! We could find a mom that would be a zillion times better than us to raise our children so they would have what we always dreamed for them to have. The mommy we always dream we could be but know will never be in a million stinkin years.

This new Mommy would have it all!

... Except the way we smell.

The new mom wouldn't smell like us.

She probably wouldn't hug like us either...
She definitely won't know how to burn mac & cheese like I do or that one kid likes things in a certain order while the other is more interested in bugs than books.

It would take her a long time to realize they like to be tucked in all the way around, not just at the top.
She might not ever find out that their favorite stuffed animal is always the one that magically somehow gets lodged between the bed frame and the wall and because it took you two months to figure that out after a week and a half of tears over losing said animal...

She might be able to calm their tears if that happened.

Or maybe... Maybe we should stay a little while longer.

Maybe we could try again tomorrow. Tomorrow we can be AWESOME Mom! 

Tomorrow God will give us more grace that maybe... we could give to ourselves. 

Tomorrow we should check out that new club down the hall next to the Pinterest Joy Sucker one:
"We are better than we Think Moms" 

It says all Moms are welcome so... maybe we are.

Sweet Mom:
Our kids still run into our arms.
When they cry, they want us near them.
When we leave the room... they still follow.

You are way better than you think.

My bestie Dannette told me recently when I called her having my weekly, "I'm a terrible Mommy" guilt trip:
If we were really bad mom's, we wouldn't care about how bad we were doing. We wouldn't keep trying to be better. 
We definitely aren't Super Mom's who have it all together.
But we are the ones God chose to be the mom's to our children.

And if God trusted us with them, maybe we aren't a mistake as their Mom's after all.

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Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful and amazing Moms out there. 
You are more fantastical than words could express and I am humbled to be among your ranks.
I pray this reminded you to not let Mommy Guilt in any form steal your Mommy Joy. 
There is none like you, none more perfect for your littles. 
Today stand with me in reminding ourselves of that Truth. 
That we are the perfect moms for our littles. 


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